The Initiate
by Coolbeanies24
Summary: Tris starts doubting whether or not she's as brave she thought when she starts falling for her instructor and worries about what will happen when people find out. Rated M just in case
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, i'm really sorry that i stopped writing for too late. I know that a few of you were enjoying where the story was going and i might continue to write more in the future but for now i just lost interest. Anyway I recently started to read the divergent trilogy and obviously i had seen the movie before but i fell in love with the entire series once reading about it so i decided to try something that isn't shadowhunters. I've been writing chapters for a couple days now and have a few good ones but I thought that I would post the first one to see what you guys think and if you like it and want more let me know, i'm loving writing this.**

I know that i made the right choice in leaving abnegation. I wasn't made to be selfless but i wasn't entirely sure why i chose dauntless either. As me and several other transfers walked into the training room i noticed punching bags, weights, a marked square and several targets. a shiver went through me as i wondered what they were used for. "jeez guess there's no welcome party" christina said quietly to me. seeing as she was candor she usually speaks her mind but after she got reprimanded by our trainer four she pretty much only keeps her smart comments quiet.

"initiates, welcome to were you will be spending the first stage of your ranking" Eric our scary looking leader said to all of us. Four was also scary but more in an intimidating way. Eric on the other hand looked like someone who could shoot you just for looking at him the wrong way. "Today you will start building muscle and tomorrow the first three fights will take place" he motioned to the marked square which i now registered as sort of a ring. i looked all around the room for ways to build muscle.

I was skinny and weak so not surprisingly nothing really interested me but i knew i had to start somewhere. I started throwing punches at one of the kicking bags. after a few hits i could tell that i wasn't really hitting the way i was meant too. i looked all around me to see everyone working hard. i saw peter ,from candor as well, throwing knives at the targets and hitting the bullseye almost every time. if i had any concerns about him before they were tripled now. "Your weak" a deep voice said from the side of me. i turned to see four watching me. how long had he been standing there, i started punching the bag with everything i had but ultimately i was getting nowhere. "your not hitting properly" he chastised as i tried to put more force into it, i could feel little bits of sweat falling down my face. He grabbed my wrist just as i was about to hit the bag again. "Move on initiate" was all he said as he walked off to observe other people.

I felt frustrated, i used everything i had and it still wasn't enough. i guess that was dauntless though. when you have had enough you have to just keep going, falling behind is not an option. Ignoring his comments from before i continued to punch and punch until my knuckles were bleeding and red from all the impact. I couldn't tell how long i had been hitting for but i knew that if i wanted to get anywhere that i just needed to keep going. By the time lunch rolled around i was exhausted i had spent half of the day trying to not be "weak" and so far nothing was improving. my hands were bleeding and swollen but i was too tired to care. As i walked away from the punching bag i tried to find christina when someone grabbed my wrist. i turned to see four inspecting my hands. "You need to take care of this" he said as he grabbed the first aid kit from a shelf nearby.

 **I know it's pretty short but I didn't want too much to happen in the first part. so please if you liked it leave a review letting me know if you want more.**

 **-Tempany**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody thank you to charms22 for leaving a review. I get that because it was only small and not really much of a cliffhanger it wasn't exactly my best but i want to keep majority of the chapters i write to end like they would in a story maybe sometimes on a cliffhanger but anyway here is the second chapter and yes this will more than likely be the size of each chapter but don't worry i have already written a lot in advance.**

i sat down against the wall and sunk to the floor. God it felt good to just stop for a second. he sat down in front of me with a wet cloth and started dabbing at the cuts. i winced from the pain but he just ignored me. Weirdly enough he looked sort of frustrated. it sort of pissed me off. "You know you don't have anyone to blame but yourself for how your feeling right now" he said still not looking at me. "I chose dauntless and in order to get through initiation you can't just give up" i had been saying that in my head all day as motivation to keep going.

"Hurting yourself just so you can struggle is not dauntless, that's called being stupid" i felt anger surge through me. i pulled my hand back away from him and stood up. "So i'm weak, i'm punching wrong, and i'm stupid jesus four what a way to motivate someone." i said as i pulled the cloth from his hand and starte cleaning my cuts myself. "tris listen your weak but you'll get stronger by punching using the write techniques and you'll be smart to find out what your good at instead of forcing yourself to fix something you are bad at" he explained and because i was so stubborn i didn't say anything in return but i knew he was right.

"Be back in ten minutes" he said his usual tone coming back. As he left i groaned thinking that it was my stupid fault i didn't have anytime to eat but i wasn't hungry, in fact i was motivated to find what i was good at. the next ten minutes i tried lifting weights, throwing knifes and doing all sorts of fighting positions but nothing was any good, the more i did the weaker i felt. as i moved to go to the treadmills i passed a gun. That must be what another one of the targets are for. My stupid curiosity peaked and i walked closer to it admiring the shiny silver metal which coated it. even though i was fascinated with it i was terrified of touching it but that was the biggest part of being dauntless. being brave.

I reached down and just as i was about to touch it i heard people coming back into the training room. i jumped away from the gun and bent down to pretend i was tying my shoelace. "Hey where were you at lunch we didn't see you?" will asked as he, christina and will walked over. "oh i uh wasn't hungry" i said making sure i didn't look at any of them. Will was from erudite and being that christina was from candor they are both pretty good at figuring out when someone is lying. Of course i wasn't technically lying so they did not ask anymore questions.

I started running on the treadmill slow at first but then slowly started picking up the pace. soon enough i was full blown running and weirdly enough even though i was underground in dauntless i had never felt so free. "Listen up" Eric yelled grabbing everyone's attention i slowly turned down the speed until i called jump off. when i did my legs were all wobbly and i felt like the ground should have been moving. "Seeing as some of you are so eager to rank high i decided that we should end today with a match. "First jumper" he called and hurt sunk. I knew that he would pick me, he was punishing me for not leaving with the others like i was supposed too. "And peter" my eyes immediately shot to four who was standing against a pillar with no expression on his face. I don't know why but i thought he would say something to eric but he didn't. Peter was twice my size and was incredibly strong i'd have no chance.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry guys but this chapter is already incredibly short so because of that i decided i would post three now to make up for it**

I woke up a few hours later in the infirmary. I remember bits of what happened in the fight but the most important thing was that i lost. Badly. I moved to sit up and ended up crying in pain. i felt like my ribs were broken every breathe hurt. "You need to lay still" four's voice called and for some reason i wiped my tears away. i was angry at him and the last thing i wanted him to see was me crying. "I told you were weak" he said looking at me with the no expression look he had when i was about to fight peter.

"Oh gee thanks four" i said sarcasm dripping. i swear i saw him smile a little but it could have just been me being tired. "7 Tomorrow morning." he said before leaving. God to think that i would have to do all that again tomorrow makes me think that i chose the wrong faction but there's no turning back now. i cant give up, if i do i'll end up being factionless.


	4. Chapter 4

**I also just want to say and yes this will be the last time i talk about how short this chapter is. The reason the chapters are short is because i'm writing it all as one big story so it's not got very big chapters but hopefully i will have a lot of them if all goes well.**

It was hard to get up this morning but i managed to do and be ready by 6:30 it wasn't like i was trying to impress anyone i just thought it would take me a lot longer. i looked into one of the mirrors and was completely shocked my head had a gash 0n it, my lip was bleeding and my cheekbone was all bruised. i also looked as bad as death. i sat on my bunk thinking about what will happen today and i know for sure that i will be using the treadmill. speed it seems is my one thing i'm good at. I'm quick but apparently not quick enough to get the crap beaten out of me. "Don't you look pretty stiff" peters voice came from across the room. i rolled my eyes, i can't wait until i build up enough strength to punch him. "If you ask me, i actually improved your looks" he said and i know he's just an asshole who's trying to do anything to get to me but after everything yesterday my self confidence is shot.

As i sat waiting for everyone to finish getting ready i started to think about four. Did he think i was ugly? i had no idea why i was obsessing over this, for one i've never cared about my looks before and two why should i care what four thinks of me. As we enter the training room i saw a board that has where we are all ranked and unsurprisingly i'm last. to one side it also has who will be fighting and thankfully for my sake i wont be fighting today but tomorrow i will be fighting molly who is like the female version of Peter. I try to put it out of my head as i start up the treadmill today though i can only manage a small jog as my entire body aches. "Hey look at you go" christina says coming up next to me as she watches me run, im not sure why but it makes me nervous.

"I'm just running" i say a little out of breath just before she can say anything four walks over "good to see you finally found the one thing your good at" he says patronising. god how badly i want to say something rude but growing up abnegation were weren't taught those sorts of words. "What an ass" christina says once he's out of earshot, well there's one at least. Although i don't really understand how calling someone a donkey is a huge insult. of course i don't tell her that i just keep running. "He's kinda hot though right?" she asks admiring him and as she does so do i. He usually wears a black jacket with a black shirt and black pants and black boots, standard dauntless attire, but today he isn't wearing a jacket and his arms are showing.

They aren't huge but they are impressive. i wonder what it would be to have them wrapped around me in the midst of my daydreaming he catches my eye and makes eye contact. feeling the blood rush to my cheeks i look away. "Well i guess i'll leave you too it" christina says walking towards the knife throwing where will is. i suspect she has no interest in the knives though. i laugh a little. "Something i can help you with?" four asks standing where christina was only a few seconds ago. my eyes look straight at his arms and how his shirt clings to him. I see the peep of his tattoo coming from under it and wonder what its of. "Tris?" he asks again a little more impatient. "Uh i was wondering if you would be able to tell me how to punch properly" i said thinking of the first thing that came to mind. "follow me" was all he said and i complied as we walked over to the punching bags.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, I'm back sorry it's been a couple of days but i've been reading some fanfictions instead of writing aha whoops. Anyways i'm reading one called Discoveries by springberry and it is honestly so good i even forgot that i was reading fanfiction and thought that it was actually part of the series so if you guys like divergent fanfiction i strongly suggest you check it out but it is rated M so be warned aha.**

"Start with you feet spread apart then but when arm up but far away from your face so you don't hit yourself and the other arm goes horizontal against it. You switch everytime you punch. try" he said the ever helpful instructor. i start to punch the way he told me and to my surprise its a bit easier, still difficult but definitely better. i smile as i turn around and hug him but immediately let go. What was that? i look at the floor embarrassed by my action. he doesn't say anything which scares me more.

"Four if your done holding the stiff's hand how but showing getting everyone to come together for the first fight. he walked toward eric and so does everyone else. i try not to look at anyone feeling really awkward. this isn't the sort of place hugging happens. "Will, Al" Eric calls and i watch the fight intently. you can tell neither wants to fight the other but they do and will ends up winning. As we go to leave for lunch al heads to the infirmary to get checked on.

"I felt awful" I'm sure peter didn't feel that way towards me. Weirdly enough dauntless food isn't actually all that bad and the cake is delicious. "What was with that hug?" christina nudges me as i nearly choke on cake. "Nothing, i mean i was happy that i was finally getting somewhere and it just happened" i shrugged like it was nothing. "Eric wasn't happy about it" will said mouthful. "Why?" Eric was angry that i hugged four? "Don't know but he was going to through you in with molly today instead of me and al"

"why didn't he?" i asked all sorts of confused. "I guess your boyfriend talked him out of it" christina teased and i shoved her a little. "Tris Eric wants a word" four said standing behind me. Oh god could today get anymore embarrassing. i nodded as i stood up and walked out the cafeteria with him. "Christina was just kidding" i don't know why i said it i guess i just didn't want him to think that i thought of him that way. "Your teenage girls" he answered like it explained everything.

"Yeah maybe but i'm from abnegation to me boyfriend is like a foreign word" i said wondering about how my parents got together, they never talked about it but then again that would be selfish. "It's foreign here too" he said walking passed the sleeping quarters. "What no one dates?" "I didn't say that" and that shut me up.

i thought that hugging someone was embarrassing let alone kissing or being intimate. i blush at the thought if it but then a small laugh escapes. Four stops and turns to me with a mocking smile on his face. "shouldn't you have learned about all that stuff in school?" he said noticing the read covering my face. "We did but abnegation never speak about it, so even if i was confused about... certain things" i shrugged, i didn't expect to be having this conversation with four of all people.

his smile grows a little bit more and i cant help the one that forms on my face. "Four there you are, i was beginning to think you got lost" Eric said as he approached us and just like that the smiles were gone. "I can take it from here" he said looking at me in scary way. i knew he was telling four to leave but i really didn't want to be alone with eric. "I should probably stay, she's a troublemaker" four said seriously. "Actually it's probably better you do stay four. Just so i can make sure there's no.. favouritism going on"

he said but it sounded like he meant more. "She's a teenage girl eric what do you expect" four rolled his eyes like he was bored. "Isn't that sweet, your initiate has a crush on you" he said brushing a stray hair away from my face. i felt like slapping him away. "Just let her get back to lunch eric" four said a little coldy this time.


	6. Chapter 6

"What did eric want?" Al asked sitting down next to will with just an ice pack on his face. "Uh he just wanted to make that four and i were not-" "Hooking up?" christina finished smiling. "NO!" i said my face going bright red. "Well yeah actually, obviously we told him nothing was going on and i think fours words were

'She's a teenage girl eric what do you expect '" i rolled my eyes.

"Well I guess there goes that chance" she said taking a sip of water. "Like i'd want it" i scoffed as we started heading back to the training room. i went to the punching bags while peter and edward fought. i didn't need to see peter beat another person but weirdly enough it filled me with motivation and i could feel my punches had more power to them.

"Sorry about earlier" four said looking at a clipboard he was carrying. "no It's fine i like feeling like a hormonal teenager" i said hitting the bag. suddenly his arms were on my waist and i felt sparks shoot up "You have to use your whole body. Keep tension here" he said as i looked him in the eyes.

he was a lot closer than anyone has ever been to me. He removed his hands. "Your fast, you could attack first hit the person in the throat" he said i nodded i listened but at the same time i couldn't think about anything but his hands on my waist. "Four" someone called "keep working" he mumbled as he walked off.


	7. Chapter 7

The fight with molly wasn't too bad, i got a few punches in. I managed to do what four said but after that she swept my leg and i hit the floor hard passing out. i woke up a few moments later christina helping me stand. Four just stood with eric observing as usual.

"That's it for today initiates". The next two weeks i trained and fought.

I managed to beat Al and finally Molly but peter was still a problem. I had bruises covering my entire body. Four just watched i got no more advice from him which i realised was on purpose. If eric had suspicions, the only thing we could do was deny them seeing as they weren't true in the first place.

After training i looked down at my hands which were purple and blue from all the bruises. "We should go get tattoos tonight" christina suggested with a smirk on her face. I guess after everything we had been doing lately a tattoo wouldn't hurt any more than getting beaten. After everyone showers we get changed, All i have is a black shirt and black jeans simple enough to blend in but not enough to stand out.

Chris puts a bit of makeup on me which feels heavy on my face but after i look in the mirror (something i got used to very quickly) i notice how big and bright the eyeliner makes my eyes look and i'm stunned. "Hey stiff we are you going" peter says as he enters the room but then takes in my appearance.

"It's crazy, i don't know if you know this but i dont think your a boy" he said in mock astonishment but instead of being mad i think of it like a compliment. without saying anything else we leave and head for the tattoo parlor. I look around at all the designs and i find one that i like. I give it to the artist who said her name is Tori. I lay back as she tattoos the three birds on my collarbone, one for my mother, one for my father and one for my brother. Everyone i left behind.

Christina complimented the birds as we were walking back towards the pit. as were walking i thought i heard my name being called but i couldn't see anyone i recognised. everyone was all dauntless members. "Tris" i then recognised the voice of four and found him amongst his friends beer in hand. he walked over to me his breath smelling of alcohol. "four" i greeted him smiling, it was clear he was drunk and it was sort of funny to see him not in control.

"Your doing well" he said and i nodded looking over at christina who was currently on the back of will with al standing next to them all of them watching us. It made me nervous. i looked at four who was watching them and then waved at them. I laughed a little.

his eyes came back on me and he looked at me for a couple seconds before leaning into my ear and saying "You look good, tris" he pulled back and smiled before walking back to meet his friends. As i did the same the blush i had across my face wouldn't go away. "What did he say to you" christina pestered me. "He told me i was doing well that's all" i tried making it sound causal but it wasn't. "i just never got a compliment before" i laughed a little.


	8. Chapter 8

Once everyone was asleep i got up and got dressed into my training clothes and ran to the training room. I had been doing this for awhile now. I punched the bag now using the right technique and continued on like that for awhile.

"Are you even human?" fours voice came from behind me making me jump. "Jesus" i murmured. "Nope just four" he laughed at his own joke.

Clearly still drunk. "What are you doing here shouldn't you be sleeping off your current state" i said lining myself up again.

"remember when you didn't know how to punch at all?" he laughed but i didn't find it that funny. I stopped and turned towards him. His eyes making contact with mine. i had turned around to give him him a piece of my mind but lost my train of thought when he looked into my eyes. he leaned closer and there was barely enough space between us to breathe.

"You're wearing makeup" he said inspecting my face. i laughed "How drunk are you?" he didn't answer but instead tripped over his own foot and fell into me, him being bigger than me he knocked me to the floor and he landed on top of me. "Ow" i said as i laughed because it was kind of funny but when i looked at the position we were in i stopped laughing and so did he.

He stood up and helped me up. "Goodnight tris" he said in his usual cold voice before leaving me alone in the training room. Giving up for the night i decided to just shower and go to bed. As i turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around me i walked back to my bunk expecting everyone to be asleep.

"Nice legs stiff" peter said quietly to make sure he didn't wake anyone else up. I considered yelling at everyone to wake up but i didn't think that would do me any good. i tried to keep my towel around me while i got dressed but i could feel petter watching me the entire time. "Nice little show there" he said smiling as soon as i was dressed, had he seen anything? i wasn't sure the towel did fall a little.

i felt sick but i curled up under my covers and tried to sleep.

The next day we were throwing knives and to my surprise i was actually pretty good at it. "Hey stiff" peter smiled at me and i didnt like it at all. "You know drew the stiff and i have seen so much together he said to his friend next to me. i tried blocking it out, even if my towel slipped it was dark. "We even shared a very intimate moment together last night" he said and i threw my knife so hard it hit directly in the heart of my target, imaging it was peter.

"What's going on here?" four asked and i turned to look at him in shock who knows what he's thinking right now. "Hey it's not my fault she's so into me was practically walking around naked in front of me last night" i threw my last three knives at the same place with the same force it was so loud that everyone's attention was now on me. "Can i go now" i asked four not looking at him. I didn't wait for him to answer instead i walked over to the punching bags and started hitting the bag harder than i have ever done before.

 **So i know that in the book peter, molly and drew take tris's towel off her but i want to change things a bit obviously things will be the same from the book and some will be changed**


	9. Chapter 9

The others were still over the other side throwing knives but al wasn't doing too well. i heard eric yelling at him and then he told everyone to stop and for Al to stand in front of the target. "Stop" i yelled as everyone's attention went to me i walked back over full of anger from peter but i wasn't going to let my friend get hurt. "

Anyone can stand in front of a target that doesn't prove anything" i said to eric. "Well then by all means, take his place" he said and i walked towards the target. "If you flinch your out" Eric yelled, i didn't move. Four threw the first knife a few cm away from my head. "You can get closer than that" eric said sounding bored.

four threw the second knife just above my head and the quickly the third which nicked my ear. "Points for bravery stiff, but not as many as you lost for opening your mouth" he said and i didnt react. i had so much anger that if i said anything i would be either factionless or dead in seconds. "We're done for the day" he yelled as everyone walked out. i stormed over to four slamming the knife in to the table "what was that?" "You think eric would let you leave without a scratch" he answered and i knew he was right but that didn't mean i wasn't angry.

"What peter said" he started and i looked at him angrily but then looked away embarrassed. "Do you believe him?" i asked worried that he would say yes. "Not for a second" it made me sort of happy to hear him say that. "well he's not entirely wrong" i said thinking about last night, four said nothing so i looked up at him and he was staring at me with a scary look on his face.

"Well no he's not right. After you left the training room last night i went and had a shower but only had a towel. i thought everyone was asleep but peter was awake and he uh watched me get dressed" i said feeling the back of my neck heat up. "He watched you get dressed?" he said still in a scary way. i looked down at the floor ashamed.

i don't know why it's not like anything bad actually happened but it made me feel sick about my own body. "Tris, i'm not angry with you" four said putting his hand on my shoulder and the second he did i turned into his chest and hugged him.

No one was around so i didn't care i just needed to hug him. i could hear his heart beating and it started to calm me down. I realised in this whole time he hasn't said anything to me. i pulled back a little to see his face and to my surprise it didn't show anything. he was looking at me but it also looked like he wasn't sure of me. i pulled away from him completely not regretting anything but also feeling uncomfortable. "You should go meet your friends" he said as he walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

I saw my brother today and i knew that i would be in trouble when i got back i was just hoping four would be the one to reprimand me but just my luck it was Eric. he caught me just as i was walking back into dauntless headquarter. "Where you were you?" he said in his quiet scary tone.

"I left, i know i shouldnt have" i looked at the floor i explained but i wasn't saying sorry. "Why" he pushed. i couldn't tell him that i went to erudite to see my brother. the one thing dauntless loves to promote is faction before blood. telling him i went to see caleb would be like a betrayal.

"I-" "She ran off because i rejected her" four said standing behind eric. i was thankful he was here but i was not happy about what he said. Eric still looking at me watched my face and i tried to look embarrassed. "What did she do?" he asked turning to four but keeping his hand on my shoulder holding me against the wall.

"kiss me" he said calmly, i felt like shrinking into a ball. i do want to kiss him but lately i don't know if that's something he would want, he's hard to read. "Well next time don't run off initiate" he let go of my shoulder and i nodded. "And four take your little love sick puppy back inside before someone gets the wrong idea about her" four walked over and grabbed my arm but only as a show for eric because the minute we entered and passed a hallway he let go.

i hated the feeling i got when he did, i almost felt cold. "Why did you leave?" he asked sort of grumpy "Didn't you hear? apparently i tried to kiss my instructor because i'm such a love sick puppy that when he rejected me i ran off crying" i said very sarcastically. he stopped and looked at me "Tris you know i was lying" "Could've come up with a better lie" i mumbled my face getting red. truth is all i could think about was kissing him. out of nowhere i felt his fingers lace through mine.

i looked down at our intertwined hands and then back up to him. he cupped my face with his hand and looked into my eyes "i wouldn't reject you" he said and just as i thought he was going to lean in he pulled away. "I'll see you tomorrow" and at that i was left standing in some random hallway confused as all hell but i knew one thing that made me happy four wanted to kiss me.


End file.
